“Mate Value” Study Revisited
Real women know that some subjects are much too rich to be mined adequately in just one blog. Such is the case with the recent University of Texas study I mentioned yesterday.The headlines focused on the fact that the study found that beautiful woman want it all…status, economic prospects, resource acquisition potential (whatever that means), etc. The study was carried on major news outlets like ABC and FOX with all the correspondents agog at this seemingly new and fantastic fact.
All of them overlooked the truth that after, say, the age of twenty, beautiful women have to work at being beautiful. Duh. Also, that there is a point to all this effort…getting and keeping a guy. It’s their job, honey. Of course, they want the most for their efforts. Duh.
Your faithful correspondent, however, took the time to read the entire news reports and thus came upon the nugget, buried at the end of the stories, that all of the interviewees, beautiful or otherwise, rated intelligence as the least important of desirable “mate value” qualities in a partner.
I don’t know about you, but it is taking me a little time to assimilate this factoid.
I e-mailed the study to my partner who heretofore I was unashamed to admit is highly intelligent.
“Whaaat?” he said. Notice the one syllable word. Perhaps that counts.
“Who authored it?”
“The University of Texas issued it,” I said. “It’s apparently in the current issue of Evolutionary Psychology.” I added, just so he would know I’d done my research. Opps. Too intelligent. Aware my mate value was plummeting egregiously, I quickly mumbled, “I don’t know.”
“Huh?” he said.
Bravo, I thought. Perhaps he is, after all, on the evolutionary curve.
“What’s for dinner?” he asked, switching gears. Ah, hah, I thought, this is great. A short attention span. An inability to focus. Gotta be headed in the right direction.
But I floundered. The study didn’t indicate whether pulling together a hot meal on time has mate value. It does, after all, take a modicum of intelligence to plan, cook and have a meal ready. Or at least, that’s what I always thought.
So, I took refuge in an old trick. I stuck my fingers in my hair and pulled, just slightly. But, he didn’t see my mate value enhancing confusion. We were on the phone.
I didn’t say anything. I waited. He waited. Damn, this stuff is hard. So, at last I ventured. “I don’t know.”
He sighed and it wasn’t a pretty sound. I’d promised him something special. But I want to be on the evolutionary curve, too.
“How about I pick something up?” he finally said.
“Great,” I started to say, but then thought maybe just an “Okay” might have higher evolutionary mate value.
“Are you all right?” he asked and I felt a nice wave of concern.
“Fine,” I mumbled. “See you later.”
I clicked the off button on my cell phone and sat there for a few minutes looking at it.
“Fuck this,” I thought in words of one syllable.
I thawed a steak and had a glass of wine. Then I e-mailed him and told him to forget the Chinese.
Tags: mate value, real women, Relationships, women