Romance for Real Women

Thanks to Associated Press, real women know that Larry Birkhead, Anna Nicole Smith’s former boyfriend, just spent thousands of dollars on lingerie worn by Smith during a Playboy shoot. He told AP his motive in buying the bustier and negligee was to give baby Danielynn something to remember her mother by.

Frankly, I’m not sure what to make of this.

I love lingerie. I have drawers and closets full of the stuff. After a childhood with Mother Moonbeam and wearing white cotton panties, I indulge in sexy lingerie the way I imagine a chocoholic indulges in chocolate. Scratch that. I am a chocoholic. I know exactly how we indulge. But you’ve probably gotten the point.

When Anna Nicole was alive, I admit I didn’t pay her too much attention. She got headlines when she married a Texas billionaire some sixty years older and then engaged in extended litigation with his sons over his will.

Her looks lifted her out of what had apparently been a somewhat ramshackle life. But like many celebrities who depend only on their looks and are without any other resources, the attention seemed to do nothing but get her in trouble. She never seemed to me to be a bad person, just sort of out of her league.

So, if anything, I felt kind of sorry for her.

My kids know I’m a devotee of sexy lingerie. My son’s most articulate response is “eeewww gross.” (Believe me, he never sees me in sexy lingerie, but he knows my obsession.) On the other hand, my daughter loves digging around in the packages when they arrive in the mail.

But I’m not too sure I want my kids remembering the lingerie as anything other than a foible by an otherwise responsible real woman. Although I certainly hope my daughter will enjoy lingerie in the same way I do. It makes me feel attractive and sexy. It does wonders for my sometimes sagging morale. And, even if no one sees my thongs or corsets, they make me feel good.

So, I ask myself, what’s Birkhead going to do with that lingerie? Bronze it?

Probably.

In my opinion, this is one child who doesn’t stand much of a chance unless someone sees to it the kid gets a good education. Looking fifteen or twenty years down the pike do you see another Paris Hilton? Or Brittany Spears? I confess, I do. It’s a depressing thought.

So depressing that I notice one of the items Birkhead bought is a pink bustier. I don’t have one. But a quick visit to my favorite lingerie store, www.inhisdreams.com shows me they’re offering a pink Asian inspired corset I don’t have.

I shouldn’t.

I really shouldn’t.

I will.

I saw this fabulous video about priests in a lingerie department. It reminded me of my partner’s reaction to lingerie before I trained him. Enjoy.

Mother’s Day is one of the sweetest holidays of the year. And not just because my partner has learned I adore good chocolate.

It’s the one holiday when the rest of the family makes its own rituals.

If you’re like me, and you probably are, women, mothers, are responsible for the rituals that mark the years for their children.

Thanksgivings may be at home or friends or family. You may decorate for the holiday or just concentrate on the food. But Mom’s the person who decides the where and with whom. Ditto for Christmas and birthdays. And, to Mom falls most of the work. (My Christmas tree has gotten to be such a chore, that two Christmases ago I obtained an arty looking branch from one of the dormant trees in the lawn and decorated it with dried fruit. When I presented it to the children as a different kind of Christmas tree, you can believe they were having none of it. Last year we were back to the three days to put up and two days to take down version.)

This is not a whine, just a fact. We do the work that makes the holidays special.

But not on Mother Day.

This is the day children, husbands and partners are free to conspire to show us how much they care.

In my case, I thoughtfully packed the refrigerator with eggs, milk, bacon and thick sliced bread…just in case breakfast was in the offing.

It was. And, it didn’t take me more than forty minutes or so to clean up, but breakfast in bed was worth every burnt pan.

I am far too frugal to allow my partner to treat us to big dinners. And I’m far too good a cook to pine for eating out when I can make an exceptional meal at home. We will be having one of those tonight.

However, I’m have not been above training my significant other in those things that I do find delightful, jewelry, books and lingerie among them and I suspect I’ll be in receipt of something along those lines tonight. I’m looking forward to it.

I started this off with the assertion that Mother’s Day is the one day mom steps aside to let the family decide the ritual.

I might have been mistaken.